About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
