i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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