question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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