My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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