just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize