You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There r osticjed everywhere
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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