im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
