All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
