I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
