Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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