your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
