Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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