The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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