I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
