They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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