Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
