The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Of course I have a pirate flag
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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