u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
