i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
