It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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