Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
