Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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