Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
