Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
