Kiss
Puke
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
