when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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