No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
