Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
