I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
