Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
