I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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