So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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