the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
