I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
