At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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