then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
