the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
