i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
