Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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