I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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