No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
