my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
