so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
