OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Randomize
