So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
