I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
did you just send me my own nude
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
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