everyone is single if you try hard enough
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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