that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
