i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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