i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
