wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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