Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
