That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
