now i know why i became what i already was.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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