yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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