i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize