and she was petting her beer can
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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