I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
