Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
