Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's never too late to be topless.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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