I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
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It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
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Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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