First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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