Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize