There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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